MY COMMENT ON MARY EGBOEGBO’S SEXUAL FREEDOM

I strongly support your idea of women disgracing our gender but sometimes we women are all concerned about money and just like you said it goes down to what parents have taught their kids,sometimes some mother teach their girls that we do not have opportunities when it comes to education and selling our bodies are the answer.Other times,for instance,the video girls in most hip-hop videos are being paid more than 2000 dollars per video or being paid an amount that they believe they do not have to stress their brains or think so hard in order to make such money.They fail to realise that they are however,being exploited and are giving people the right to call them derogatory names.

Phenomenal woman

I love this poem and i still have it posted in my mind and also in my room because everyday i awake. i remember the simple fact that you do not have to be Drop-Dead gorgeous to a beauty.”Independent women” just like the word of Destiny’s child,you can make your money and be all that you want.

Phenomenal women does not only stop at being independent but also at being confident and comfortable with how you are as a female and also how you carry yourself as an individual.Some females believe they could do anything and act as sexual objects inorder to get the respect you need while others believe that they would be loved if they look exactly like other celebrities and have the “celebrity bodies”.A Point of correction,celebrities are usually loved for the roles they play and the material things they have but when those stuffs are gone,the celebrities are gone with it.

Everytime,i read phenomenal woman i hope to become more like this character where i do not have to announce my presence in order to be noticed and where i do not have to be a certain size and shape inorder to speak my opinions.But while i hope,i question myself on if the phenomenal woman still exists in our society, where it has rated the “Independent woman” to be able to raise her voice,have her money and be in the ruthless game of sex and schemes.Most times,the independent woman is known to be someone that can achieve whatever pleasure she wants even if it goes with the idea of hurting others in the process.

Eventually the phenomenal woman forms into shape when we as females learn to know our standards and learn to respect others and ourselves.The phenomenal woman would always be a part of us as long as we become comfortable and carry our heads high with the notion that we are all truly what  females should look like.   

Domestic violence

When i was much younger,i would see some men talking down on their wives and watchh movies that men would beat their wives.Even in our present century,domestic violence is still happening,i recently rewatched the movie “Madea Family Reunion”,i will say “rewatch” because i love watching over and over again because it was a simple act of serving hot grits that protected her from a mean wolf.

In reality,its almost not happening,i used to think,the first time a man ever lays his hands on me i would be off his land with immediate effect but in support with Dixie-this violence does not only start with instant beatings but it coild be one day at a time,it could start with shakes thenn derogatory remarks then before you know it,you would be the punching bag for an aspiring wifebeater.

I heard a lot from victims of domestic violence and we would think we could prevent it or we would be leaving but most of them say their will to leave is usually jeopardized especially where they have had kids for this person or where others see him as the perfect man.A Lady explained to me that they both had the same friends and she couldn’t cry to anyone of them because she met those friends through him.Other reports have shown that a lot of women feel they are handicapped and without their financial support-their husbands,they cannot carry on with life.Most times we are simply just hooked on Love that we become so confused.

The issue of domestic violence and actions taken to prevent it ultimately stays with us as women and victims and if we are ready to get out ,it also is based on our strong will to leave the situation.

The myth of the perfect mother

While i write this i am filled with so much empathy for the working mothers and also for the housewives especially those that are filled with the fear that if they are not perfect,their kids would turn out to be unruly children.

The author raises the question on how the generation of mothers are arguably the most liberated and privileged group of women in America to be so consumed with perfect mommy-dom?.To my own opinion,Motherhood changes most things and i feel that if we accept this simple fact we could carry on with our lives.Some women fail to understand this and others find out at a later point, but all the same life is not perfect and motherhood is also not perfect.If motherhood is made to be perfect then how come we(mothers) cannot predict the times our kids would make a mess.At least if we could,we would be like wonderwomen who would stop the occurence of a natural cause.

I am not mocking the motherhood phase but i feel it comes down to the fact that this phase is a process and you become used to it but most women feel they can do everything even if they are mothers.For instance,most women take the role of “soccermoms”-who can clean up the house,take the kids to school and must have everything in a perfect way .Some take up the roles of mothers during the day and party hoppers at night.Regardless of what role women play it still comes down to the idea that mothers are not perfect creature,we are only humans and most times we need encouragement from ourselves and others but most especially from the human aspect of ourselves and the superbeings we dream to become.

Desperately debating housewives

I hardly watch the show “desperate housewives”but the episode i watched was the part of teri and some other lady fighting over a man!!Anyway, i read the debate between jenn and jessica and if i was given the role of a moderator,i would actualy be rooting for Jenn.Just like Jenn,i was hoping that this show does not only show the usual roles of women as having tea,cleaning,nurturing the kids,being golddiggers and having affairs with other men for sexual satisfaction or just for the idleness they feel when they are lurked in the housewife jobs.

Don’t get me wrong i am not saying,being a housewife is not a full time job but the show  makes the characters especially Bree (marcia cross) portray women as “Dumbwits” who only have domestic chores in mind;this now reenacts the myth that women really belong with housechores and not in the field of engineers or not even knowing mathematics at all.For instance ;the burrito scene,Lynette popping ADD pills and self-medicaton-people might think she shows independence but what about equality among married partners especially where the burden of housekeeping drives one so crazy that they feel like popping pills.

Most likely  credit should be given to the desperate housewives for acting what we already know and are trying to liberate ourselves from.Females do not just want to be desperate housewives but even if we are,it should not only be the cooking,cleaning,taking care of the kids,having Tea and chatting and cheating on their husbands because equity is not shared .Based on my opinion,i had rather have it known as Desperately working Housewives,who can control their finances and have a shared plan with their husbands and not with their “lovers” .It should also lose  the soccer mom idea that is being reenacted. 

BOYS WILL BE BOYS AND GIRLS….

Okay so lets get this straight,everytime a guy wants to start out a contest on what they can do better than you(a female),they aim first for the sports especially football.Even if they have never played the game or know the basic concepts they decide to brag about that sport because they feel you are severely challenged as a female in the world of sports.

Let’s forget the part of men bragging,let’s talk about the part where females are called the weaker sex.A lot of time,men are characterized with a lot of illnesses,now i am not saying the female body is perfect but i think with the whole changes that our bodies have been through starting from cramps to backpain to post-partum depression,pregnancy and labor;it still is a wonder on how we are called the weaker sex.For instance,the rates of suicide show that men have had the highest rate of successful suicide attempts.High blood pressures and heart attacks are found mostly in men.Among long distance swimming,swimmers are mostly characterized with the females.At homes,the record is set for the stronghold of women who keeps nurturing,working and trying to balance the whole family in a heartbeat.  Do we still need to be called the weaker sex.

I am not trying to justify myself or the role of women but what  i am aiming at here is the simple fact that boys would not always be boys.Some boys might be able to handle all the daily stresses that a woman can handle but others cannot.Most people make the mistake of placing physical build with strength or skills but in a lot of cases,it’s otherwise.In actuality,some females are stronger than a dozen of guys put together. 

A BLACK MAN TOOK MY JOB

” Men just like women are engendered beings”,these words in reading 63 were seen to be not true according to my opinion but with further thoughts,i came to the decisionn that truly men are these kinds of beings, just like the women but unlike the men,gender in women is very obvious.

A lot of stereotyping has occured from time to time especially in the workplace settings.Most times the secretaries in these places are usually female and if the secretary is a man,he is thought of as being homosexual.In the past and present era,gender has always been known to be among the male and female and most times,the men are usually the ones that suffer from it.Why this has not been noticed is a question that should be answered with a lot of evidence.

“A black woman took my job” raises questions on my mind.It raises questions about equality of women among the men but, its not only the equality of women but also of men.Can men now take up on the jobs they like,For instance,if a guy likes typewriting could he have a right to his passion or just have his legal right to conform so that he could fit into the male world.Questions are also raised on the treatment of women as minorities and if it would ever stop.

I have a good feeling about Feminism and the whole issue of it, because if we let our minds go beyond that word “feminism”,we tend to see that not only the females are involved but also in our quest, we have given a lot of men their right to freedom and to actually take whatever roles they desire,be it teachers or even designers. 

EYE ON THE PRIZE

it takes a lot of courage to do what the narrator did.At first,when i saw the headline off the passage “Eyes on the prize”,i thought it was something different probably like how we try to be famous or something based on success.

Although  as i further went into the passage,i noticed to be able to survive through breast cancer and undergo series of masectomy is really a competition that is worthy of a prize.The narrator really went through a lot of decisions but she really made sure she kept to what she wanted.

Most times, i hear tragic tales from breast cancer survivors who talk about their loss and how they feel less of a woman.They characterized the pride of a woman as being a body part which is her breast.This pulls a tough string on the word feminism;whenever i listened to those stories,i was made aware of my body part and for me that scariest till even till now is breast cancer because i have been biased by the thought that women are crried by their breasts and if you do not have any at all,you are less of a woman.  

Reading this passage,i never knew how most breast cancer survivors look for prostheses and put on a bra ,just like that lady who mentions how she changes from a B-cup to a C-cup overnight and with ease.I love it that most women have taken the liberty to make their weakness their strengths and have not characterized the loss of their breasts as being a disappointment but rather as a means of empowerment. 

Biphobia and its potential threats

Most times people get uncomfortable on issues such as bisexuals,heterosexuals and homosexuals.But just like everything that is coming into America,this has become a trend,i mean bisexuality of course.

In our modern era,a lot of men and women decide to keep their options open so they don’t get hurt,in doing that they either force themselves or opt to become attracted to the opposite sex and also to genders of their own.A lot of these people feel that if they get a broken heart from a girl they could switch to another girl or another guy for liberation.

Apart from this being possible,they tend to act as threats to the heterosexuals who feel that bisexuals should  just make up their minds.Heterosexuals who have friends that suddenly turn into bisexuals show fear that other people would consider them as sharing the same sexual orientation as their friends even though in a small part they actually do share a certain part with bisexuals.Homophobics do not even want to see bisexuals as potential threats to their relationship with the opposite sex because they feel they would lose their dignity amongst the girls and who knows,the girls might be more attracted to a bisexual guy than a straight guy.

Even to the lesbian and gay society,bisexuals are seen as threats to them because they fear that their partners would leave them for someone of the opposite sex or gender.They feel they are sometimes not competent enough to feel their partner’s  needs and desire because out there someone who is both heterosexual and homosexual would steal their lovelives with  their experience and diversity

If men could menstruate

I could never see the possibility of men taking the female aspects of life,it almost saying “Pigs can fly” because i feel they would never be able to handle it.When i was reading this passage,i read it out loud to my friends and they found it totally hilarious for so many reasons:

Okay,the first reason like the author described,men would always brag about everything and nothing its just like the natural phenomenon for men but also imagine if they were filled with estrogen they would be exactly like women.If you analyze the relationship amongst men,you can almost compare it to that of women.Men just like women are always ready to show off their newest furniture,newest clothes and other stuffs to symbolize their social status while women are ready to compare bust size and physical appearances with other women.

We only talk about menstruation in women but that is not only what counts as a criteria for women,most times a lot of my male friends think and also brag that they could do the female job ten times better and during those times i just sit back and laugh at their statements.Women go through the whole phase of emotion and pain during their menstrual period .

If however,men were ever fortunate to be blessed with the monthly cycle and with the pain and estrogen level of women,i really doubt they would be  able to pull the competition complex amongst themselves.  Infact,they might be sleeping too much or be too grouchy to hang out with friends,who knows they probably might make menstrual day  a public holiday or sick leave for the men and don’t forget a sick leave with paid time off.